Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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