So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
