I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
