i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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