he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
