Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
