$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
