I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
