took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
