3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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