I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize