And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
