Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
