We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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