Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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