another moral hangover. fuck.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I could make wine with my vomit
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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