At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
