Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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