I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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