I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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