dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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