I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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