my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize