uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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