I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
