On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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