Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
