So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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