Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
