My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize