I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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