come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
