Im at strip club and am horny
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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