we have officially lost it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize