You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize