He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Actions speak louder than pants.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
