Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
