when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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