you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
