in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
