PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
