found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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