I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
