Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
