Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
