white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they're like a gay fantastic four
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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