just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
