You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize