So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
