There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
