That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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