I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
