North Korea, Best Korea!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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