he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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