kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
