dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
