a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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