matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
