Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
