So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You smell like stripper and shame
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
