We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
