O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
