do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
