So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
