i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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