I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
