its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize