WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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