We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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