I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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