I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
