Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
