you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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