This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
