Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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